What Do You Do When She Asks About Your Sexual History?

So there you are. You’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. You’re starting to have some amazing sex. You haven’t had “the talk” yet, but you suspect it might be coming. It’s obvious she’s into you, and you’re into her.

Then, when you’re laying there in the afterglow, she pops the question:

“How many girls have you been with?”

Before we talk about how to answer this, you need to understand what she really wants to know. She wants to know that she’s special, and she’s not just another string of conquests in your long list of serial girlfriends or bed partners.

She knows you’ve got a history, as you should know that she does as well. We all do. Nobody is really innocent. That’s just a simple fact of life.

So no matter what your answer is, you’ve got frame it as all the girls that came before her, and her. You’ve got to remove any doubt in her mind that she’s just next in line, and that there’s going to be someone in line after her.

So the first and most important thing is not to dodge the question. Acknowledge the question, and acknowledge what she really wants through asking it. Don’t treat it as a surface structure question about statistics. She’s not asking you how many shoes you have or how many times you’ve seen “Lord Of The Ring.”

Now, what you say next will be heavily dependent on your personality, her personality, and how much you’ve already talked about stuff like that. It will also be heavily dependent on your sexual history.

Just don’t blurt out a number and think you’re done. But don’t avoid the question either.

As honestly and open and as patiently as you can, say something like this:

“I don’t know. Do you really want me to remember the girls I’ve been with before? I’d rather think about you right now. Why is knowing this important to you? I don’t mind talking about this, and I don’t want to hide anything from you, I just want to make sure you don’t get the wrong impression about me.”

On the other hand, you may get this question early on, before you get physical. Some girls will ask this on the first or second date, more to see if they can rattle you than anything else. This is the time to be a little vague. After all, first and second dates are to feel each other out, not to interrogate each other.